snippets

I have wiggly child #2 in my left arm fighting sleep-- as he is pro at, so this is probably going to be continued tomorrow. So here's a few brief updates and thoughts for the curious:

1) Our trip to Pittsburgh/ Export to visit my family happened last week. It was primarily set up so that my extended family (aunts, grandma, cousins) could meet Elias.

It was Aunt Martha's birthday. This is her best David Letterman impression.


We also went to the zoo:
We apparently wore Kindred out. This was the ride home:

2) Oh, Michael signed us up for YouTube, which means that we can put some of our short videos from our digital camera online for all to see. The following is a clip from the zoo with Kindred riding the Choochoo in his engineer outfit. (The obnoxious background noise is a weird laser spaceship thingy these girls jumped on right after Kindred started on his ride.)

3) Elias. Elias Elias Elias. He is getting big. He isn't getting fat or anything, just loooong. His arms and legs are sticking way out of the sleeves and legs of his 0-3month clothing. This is new, because 2 weeks ago, there was lots of room for him to grow into them. He has become the fussy child I thought I might end up with. Thank goodness he takes a pacifier, sometimes. He is a crier, and it makes for a bit of a long day. He prefers to be held, although that doesn't always calm him. He can lie and stare at the wall for 15 minutes at a time, and sometimes he can freak out at the slightest discomfort. It is a complete mystery to Michael and I why he seems to be so unhappy, or why sometimes it feels like he's telling us through his refusal to be comforted that he'd rather have any parents other than us and he's got some sort of teenage angst. Kindred was so calm.

When Elias cries, Kindred will yell, "Eyiyas, chiw!" (Elias, chill!) Kindred has started reacting to Elias in 2 ways, primarily, depending on the mood he's in. In good times, he'll pick up Elias' dropped pacifier (called a "chooch", pronounced like choo-choo without the second oo, for those of you who fear we are being obscene) and instead of popping it in his own mouth like he used to, he will try to shove it back into Elias mouth. In bad times, Kindred will take Elias being loud as an opportunity to be loud himself. It's a toss-up to decide who wins the loudness contest.

to be continued....

My Sexy Husband

Don't worry, I'll post stuff about our trip to the Harper's soon!

A visit!

Michael and I have tons of single, childless friends. Not tons of married friends, and hardly any with children. Therefore, when I was pregnant with Kindred, I didn't share a pregnancy with any of my close friends. In fact, the only person I really shared it with (besides Julia Roberts) was a 14 year old whom I've known forever, and was not particularly excited that I was pregnant alongside her. (That's an entirely different conversation.) But there weren't many friends I could exchange pregnancy stories and adventures with, and few ever really understood, even if they were interested and happy for me. So when I found out my friend Lydia was pregnant a few months after I had Kindred, I was so excited. We talked infrequently, (she had moved to Florida) but I kept up with her life on her blog and all of her stories and pictures. She was due right around Kindred's birthday. Her daughter, Emerson, came a little early, but was fine. We hadn't seen Lydia since her baby shower and had never met Emerson, so we were thrilled to learn they were in town for a few days and wanted to stop by. Here are a few pictures of Kindred and Emerson meeting and playing.

Emerson is 10 months old, but can hold her own. (Hard to imagine she's Lydia's kid, huh?) Kindred had to duck to get on her level, but...

...she showed him who was boss!

They played drums together on the bench.

Kindred showed her all his "Biiig Tr-ucks."

Then they posed for a lovely picture together. Kindred liked her a lot. (He also really liked the snacks she brought.)

And Lydia got to hold my little little one for a while.

It was a short but wonderful visit. We can't wait to see them again. (And it was a bummer that Chris couldn't come. We would've liked to hang with him too.)

The day after Lydia came, we left for my family's house for our own short visit so that the great-grandparents and aunts and family friends could meet Elias. Stay tuned for those stories and more....

A hard night, but cheery pictures

It's been a rough couple of nights. You know, those ones where you are exhausted and dying to go to bed but can't stand the thought of setting yourself up for another long night with a grunty fussy baby and the ups and downs of never really knowing what would help or might help? You spend more time lying there thinking about what to do and stressing about what would work instead of actually doing it and getting some sleep. It doesn't make for a restful night.

Elias starts out in the bassinet and then halfway through the night I end up doing a furniture switch and pulling the bassinet in the hallway to make room for the office chair in which I put the carseat so that Elias can sleep in it for the remainder of the night where he feels a little less gassy and stuffed up. At least that's the hope. But suffice it to say that I am tired. A lot. And my husband, bless his heart, somehow manages to miss all of this. He even asked me in the morning when and why I had moved the furniture around. "4am, honey." He said, "Oh. I didn't even hear you." Yep, there's a shocker.

Anyway, here are a few pictures and stories to remind me that it's all worth it.

Michael went to the Farmer's Market up the street and came back with some of the most beautiful produce. He even got a purple pepper. Well, Kindred takes bites out of fruit and veggies, peeled or unpeeled, cleaned or not. He got a hold of the red pepper and chomped away.

Yummy, Mama.

Elias was chillin' on my shoulder. When Michael brought over the camera, he perked up for his photo shoot.

I just took these to reiterate how small my apartment is. Below is a picture of my kitchen, and my livingroom/ dining room. Clean. Believe it or not. Someone had suggested putting Elias in a laundry basket on the counter. That would be a brillian idea, if I could find an ounce of counter space.

Here's Elias, relaxing with all the Lamby stuff. (He's getting so big, apparently.Our doctor saw him and was surprised that he's only a month old. I still feel like he's a skinny little thing.)

And here's big brother Kindred. Sometimes I am shocked at how little he still is.

WIC; A love/ hate relationship, and a miracle

WIC= Women, Infants, Children
WIC= Who's In Charge?
WIC= World in Chaos
WIC= Will It Cease?
(I'm having trouble being clever. Any ideas?)

I get WIC. It's a great program that allows us to get lots of groceries and milk every week to keep me and the boys healthy and strong, and it saves us tons of money. I have appointments in the WIC office once every couple of months, and a few times a year I have to go in and get recertified, just to make sure I'm still eligible. For these recert appointments, you have to bring your child/ren so that they can get weighed and measured to make sure they are growing and healthy. The staff are generally nice (despite seeming a little clueless most of the time) and if you don't have one of the papers or items they require, they don't hold your checks, they just tell you to bring that important thing next time. This is all fine and dandy, thus the love part of the relationship.

I have never had remotely the same experience for any WIC appointment that I've been to. Every one has been drastically different. Sometimes it takes 10 minutes, in and out, sign for checks and don't come back for 3 months. Other times it's a different story. Once I went for an appointment after I'd had Kindred. I put him in the stroller and walked 9 blocks east to get to the office for a 10am appointment. When I got there, I discovered a sign on the door: "This office is closed for renvoation. Please go to the office on **** to pick up your checks." Where was this other office? 10 blocks west of my house. So I had to turn around and walk 19 blocks the other direction. Why did they not call, or send a letter, or something, letting their clients know that they were closing for renovations? Although I was upset, and tired, not to mention late for my appointment, I was not particularly surprised.

This past appointment on Wednesday was a real doozy, though. My appointment was at 10:15am. I had to bring both boys. Michael had a 12noon meeting, so he stayed home. I wasn't too worried. I figured we'd be there 1 1/2 hours, tops. Ha! I didn't walk out the door with my checks until 1:05pm!! Elias was wailing, Kindred was having a meltdown, and I was so angry. I didn't think I'd have to pack a lunch for my child for a 10am appointment! The whole of the experience was ridiculous. They must have scheduled 30 women for recerts at the same time. (What's crazy is that the office isn't really even big enough to fit 30 people, let alone have their kids running around everywhere.) They have one little toy/ play area, and all it has are 4 little chairs and a few of those office-standard "wooden bead on the wire" toys. Elias slept and Kindred was downright fabulous. Honestly. You can't ask for a better kid in that situation. He sat with me, we watched the terrible video they showed about breastfeeding. (Besides having far too many too-much-makeup white women in it, there was also a portion that showed a mother going to get her baby out of the crib, pulling back the huge comforter covering the baby who seemed to be sleeping on her tummy! Good gracious!) We played "Boo!", we sang songs, we shared Cheerios with other kids, we read books.

In the midst of this, I had to get my finger poked by one of the staff so they could check my iron levels in my blood. That exchange went something like this:

*Poke* with the needle.
"Wow, you didn't even say 'Ouch'!"
"Well, I just had a baby 3 weeks ago. Getting a finger prick is easy."
"Oh, yeah, cuz they have to cut you."
"No, I didn't need to get cut."
"Yeah, yeah you do. You probably didn't even know it. At the hospital where I was an interpreter, the doctors had to cut every woman, mandatory, one inch, so that the baby could come out. They had to. It hurts the women, but they had to do it."
"Oh, no no no. I did NOT have to get cut, and women do NOT have to get cut to have a baby!"
"Really? I should tell those doctors."

Ok, this woman is terribly misinformed. That in itself is sad. But the fact that she is working for a program under the PA Dept of Health with pregnant women is just plain scary. Is she telling the pregnant women she sees 50 times a day they have to get cut to have a baby? I was appalled. I decided that I was going to make a complaint/ concerned call as soon as I got home to report the bad info and long wait.

I didn't get a chance to call when I got home. (I called later and had a great talk with a wonderful woman who made me smile after a hard day.) I had other, more sudden and worrisome issues.

When Kindred ran away from me at one point towards the time we were nearing departure from the office, I took his hand to catch him and he sat right down on the floor in protest. Then he started crying, just brokenhearted tears. He hung on to my leg while we got our checks, and kept crying while we packed up and left. Big tears, utter sadness, total meltdown from hunger and exhaustion. I carried him gently to the car, telling him that he'd been so wonderful all morning and that I was proud of him and that we would have a snack and get some sleep when we got home.

I brought him inside and set him on the sink to wash his filthy hands, and I noticed he was not moving his right arm. Not at all. I put him down on the couch, still crying, and touched his arm on his wrist. He cried harder but did not pull away. I knew something terrible had happened when he sat down while I was holding his hand in the office. Oh, jeez. How had I not noticed? I thought he was just mentally done-for. I had no idea he was physically injured. So now after all that, we have to go to the hospital. How is this possible?

Meanwhile, as I am making this discovery, Elias has screamed his little starving self purple, and he has that vacant "Why has no one heard to my cries? I have been left behind." look in his eyes. So I simultaneously call Michael, interrupt his meeting and plead for him to come home, hand Kindred, who has calmed down significantly and is just sitting on the couch quietly, a drink of water and a brownie, and pick up poor depraved Elias and pull out the boob to stave his impending starvation.

To make a long afternoon report shorter, here's the brief version of what happend next. Michael came home and decided that we had a "perfect storm" of events. Kindred was hurt, yes, but he had not eaten anything besides cereal for several hours, he was past his nap time, and he had been in a strange place with strange people and kids all morning. We called on friends in the medical profession to talk over the situation, mostly to decide if we could wait a little while, Kindred could maybe sleep and eat, as could the rest of us, before we went to the ER for who knows how long. My friend reassured me that it was likely that what happened was a common toddler injury that required a simple maneuver by a doctor to put his arm back together. She said Kindred would probably be completely fine once the procedure was done.

Feeling somewhat reassured by this input, I went to tell Michael, who was rocking a sleeping Kindred in his room. When I walked in, Michael looked a little baffled. He said, "Meesh, look at this. Kindred, wave to Mama." Kindred, who was awake, having slept only about 15 minutes, picked up the bad arm, waved, then pushed off Michael to get on the floor to play with his new choo choo.

He was perfectly fine.

I watched my boy who, 30 minutes earlier, could not really function without dissolving into tears at every movement. He was relaxed and happy, and playing around his room. Huh? No pain? No hospital trip?

Why shouldn't we believe in miracles?

Houston, we have a breakthrough!

A few days ago, Kindred asked to hold the baby. I was hesitant, but he was in a really great mood, and I was energized enough to be able to intervene at the slightest baring of claws and such. So we sat on my bed and Kindred held out his arms and put them around Elias while I set Elias on his lap. Kindred was quiet and calm, and would sometimes rub his cheek on Elias' hair. I took Elias back and Kindred held out his arms again. "Baby? Baby?" We repeated this process a few times, and only once or twice did Kindred give Elias a "big hug" (Big hugs have become really fun in our house lately. You ask Kindred for a "biiig hug" and he'll literally throw his arms around you and squeeze. It's wonderful.) or an over-excited smacko. No clawing or pinching. I don't expect this to happen everytime, but it was a breakthrough.

The pictures below were taken after several passes back and forth (I didn't want to make it a photo shoot in the beginning. It was important to pay attention to the activity rather than try to capture it on film right away.) so Kindred doesn't seem to be "holding" Elias like he had been. But they are still really cute.

Kindred really likes it when Elias gives him kisses (i.e., sucks on his face or cheek or head).

~~~~~~~~~
Elias is doing OK. He had a rough day yesterday because he wouldn't go to sleep for more than 20minutes at a shot, if that. He has a pattern where he will sleep some days almost entirely, and other days he's awake the majority of the day. Usually when he's awake, he's pretty quiet and just looks around. But yesterday he was nearly inconsolable when he was awake. He would only take the chooch (pacifier) for a few minutes, then spit it out, then wail about not having anything in his mouth. It was kind of exhausting. Kindred was not at all a fussy baby, and I knew I was not going to get so lucky the second time. We'll see how the pattern continues.

Last night, Elias was screaming and Kindred was sleeping. But he woke up at least 3 times in the night. He's getting at least one, maybe two teeth in, and apart from chomping on his hand every other minute, he is handling it pretty well. But I think last night he was hurting, so we were in the room several times, giving Tylenol, singing songs, etc. It made for a really long night. But on the plus side, Elias slept for more than 7 hours straight. Unfortunately that was from 9pm to 4:30am, but I'm hoping we can shift that and I can actually get some solid rest at some point soon.

Elias has this funny habit of groaning in his sleep. It is loud, like he's trying really hard to pick up something that is just too heavy for him. Sometimes, especially after he eats, it happens every 5-10minutes. In the middle of the night this gets a little annoying, not only because I'm unable to sleep through it, but because I just don't know how to help him if he's hurting. I've tried sleeping him in his carseat or elevating his head in the bassinet. I got some of that stuff called Gripe Water and have been giving it to him. It seems to help with the gas and such. (It really workes with hiccups! Just a little bit and *poof* no more hiccups.)

Anyway, must go feed the boy.

Weekend Report, Daddy time, and final belly shot

This past weekend, Michael's sisters, Liz and Trish, visited from Florida. Liz is 32 weeks pregnant-- she is/was 10 weeks behind me. (Last time I was 6 months behind her.) Kindred was excited to see her big belly. He remembered Mama's. We had a great time together, the 3, uh, the 5.5 of us. We had good talks, and enjoyed being together for the short time they could be with us. We won't see them again until Christmas.


On Sunday, Grandpa Jim came to hang out with us. We all went to the Mt. Airy Village Fair up the street. What a fabulous festival! Kindred's favorite part was getting to climb on the fire truck up close and seeing the lambs and calves there for folks to pet.

Here's some "We love Dada" pictures.

And finally, I thought it might be fun to see a comparison shot of my belly now, 3 weeks postpartum, as opposed to my belly when I went into labor. Looking back, I can't believe I stretched that far out!

I'm really glad I'm not pregnant anymore. Being 25 pounds lighter is a real blessing and having a circumference that is smaller than my livingroom is a real treat too. I can get close, literally and physically, to people again. The energy I have now, even despite not getting steady sleep, is far more than I had when I was huge and bulky. But I will say that there is a bit of an identity adjustment after you have a baby. I am, for instance, no longer a pregnant woman. You can't tell by looking at me that I just added a new tiny member to my family 3 weeks ago. No one knows, if I'm by myself, that I've got 2 young children at home. Less than 1 month ago, I was noticeably going to become a mother, and people (strangers) felt very comfortable talking to me about that. I got noticed and sometimes served. Then suddenly, overnight, that was not my identity anymore. I was just plain me. No one to notice, no one that really even stands out in the crowd. It came as a shock last time, and although I am less shocked this time, I still forgot how major that identity crisis is, and how no one ever tells you to expect it.

Fork, Toddlerspeak

Kindred's vacbulay is going through the roof. He can identify so much, and he tries out anything we ask him to say. For instance, the other day Michael was quoting the Aladdin movie randomly, and said, "Say goodbye to Prince Abubu." Kindred perked up and said "Prich A-booboo!" Very funny.

And speaking of very funny, dinner conversations have begun to look something like this, a little R rated:

Me: Kindred, here, eat your squash.
Kindred: Fuck.
(peals of laughter)
Me: Here's your fork, honey. Now eat your squash.

Michael: Kindred, how's your food?
Kindred: Fuck.
Michael: I see you have a fork. Do you need a spoon?
Kindred: Pooohn, yesh. Fuck.

Elias dropped his chooch (pacifier) out of his mouth while in his swing.
Kindred: Fuck.

My thoughts exactly. Fork.

Come for dinner sometime. Heck, even lunch. It's likely to be a fun time!

Oi, what is this brother of mine trying to teach me?

Suddenly I realized...

...I have 2 children. As in T-W-O. Two wonderful little boys. But holy cow, sometimes it's hard to wrap my mind around this. Elias is not Kindred, and yet sometimes I feel like I'm in this bizarre time warp where Kindred is both big and little again, and I just call him Elias, but he isn't any different. I know Elias is his own person, but when he is this little and has very little chance to let his personality and character show outside of crying, eating and sleeping, it seems to be easy to slip back into the context I'm more familiar with: newborn-ness with Kindred. It's odd.

After Elias was born, we went to church that Sunday. We put both kids in the back of our Suburu wagon and off we went. We were about 5 minutes away from church when I realized we were a family of 4, with our 2 carseats in the back. I almost hyperventilated. I turned to Michael and remarked that he was really stuck with me now. One child feels like an adventure, 2 children feels like a commitment. Every minute of every day. Yesterday the boys were both sharing their unhappiness with us in two seperate areas of the dining/ livingroom. (We have a really small apartment.) Elias was wailing on the futon, and Kindred was screaming from his highchair. Michael announced that it was my idea to have 2 kids. Ha! My next reality check struck when I was folding laundry, and I realized that I had 2 different sizes of little clothes to sort and put away. The very small ones were not laundered to put into storage. They belong to someone again. What?

I suppose someday this will feel "old hat" but it's taking some getting used to for now.

Pictures to brighten the weary eyes

Elias is fantastic. Just sitting and holding him is so calming and soothing. He's a good baby.

He is beginning to look more like Kindred since his face and features are filling out, but he definitely has his own look. He's got his daddy's little dimple. I love that.

I got my new Moby Wrap! Hooray! I love it, and Elias apparently does too. I am excited to use it expecially when Kindred is up and about and I don't have anywhere that I can put Elias so that he's safe while I cook or just turn my back. (So there's a question for everyone. Any great ideas for where I can stick Elias so he doesn't feel banished to my bedroom everytime Kindred is awake and I need my hands free? Our apartment is too small for a playpen on the livingroom for Kindred or for me to put the carseat/ bouncy seat anywhere up high where Kindred can't pull it right down.)

Oh, this is just Anna and I laughing.

My mom just left after staying with us for 2 weeks which was a huge help, but she and I worked on my new belly cast while she was here. I really love it. It is based on the henna design-- the trinity, the flower, the vines and the pomegranets. It looks great-- my mom is a fabulous visual artist-- and we got it done and it's already hanging in the boys room. This is a significant accomplishment since my first belly cast remained plain and undecorated and basically in the way around the house until we decorated it more than 15 months later.

This is Elias floating in the clouds.

Lindsey and her baby.Lindsey and my baby.

Michael's mom, Carol, stayed with us for several days before the baby was born, and she stayed a few days afterward too. She taught Kindred lots of fun songs and even taught him to count. Yep, my kid counts. As he's putting away toys, he says "Won, too, free, fow, five." He counted the gallons of milk as I was putting them in the fridge today. It's awesome. Carol was a big help. Here she's dancing with Pooh bear.

Michael's dad, Jim, within the past few years has picked up a new vice: cigars. He claims the are for celebrations. So he and Michael shared a celebratory (stinky) cigar a piece to rejoice in the birth.
Don't they look, well, just like men?

My dad, Tom, and my brother Mike came for the weekend to meet Elias and hang out with Kindred. They chilled together outside watching cars and trucks on the curb, one of Kindred's favorite pasttimes.

Dad whispered sweet nothings to Elias as he slept, no doubt making him dream of fishing in the river with his Papap.

Dad and Mike also brought Kindred a new ChooChoo train that works on a remote control that makes all kinds of cool noises and such. Kindred really likes it. Choo Choo.

Here's pictures of a few friends chillin' with the new kiddo.

This is David, the proud uncle.

This is Brooke, snuggling with the papoose.

And this is Jake, anxious to teach Elias to dance.