Where have you been?

The list of things I could blog about is growing, and the time I have to do that is shrinking.

Sorry.

So here's what's on my mind, now.

Elias's sleep patterns are just plain weird. I can't tell one day to the next what he's going to be like. Some days he sleeps forever all day and all night, and other days he is awake quite a bit during both the day and night. Most days now are a mishmash of both, and I never know quite what to expect.

On the upside, though, Kindred is becoming a heavy sleeper. I used to not be able to go into his room while he was sleeping ever, because I believe he sensed that someone was in there and he would wake right up, and was awake for hours. I learned this lesson when he was still young after he was sleeping in a crib in his room, and we had our first all-nighter, all because I was doing that whole new-mom-staring-at-her-sleeping-baby thing and it backfired. (He stirred, I tried to flee, he screamed. And screamed.) It was sad, and I haven't gotten many chances to watch Kindred sleep as a result. But I have had to go into his room during the night a couple of times lately, and I hold my breath and tiptoe and try to keep the room as dark as possible, and he has stayed asleep. And the true test happened the other night. We left him with babysitters and they put him to bed in just shorts under a huge heavy blanket. (Hmmmm.) So I went in to check on him and had to put a shirt back on him, and he didn't wake up. He rolled over and grunted, and in doing so trapped his sleeve under him, and no amount of tugging would get it loose so I left him with one arm sleeved and one arm out in the cold. (Hmmmm.)

The fact that I have 2 fairly good sleepers is a positive thing, because my upstairs neighbor has returned to her old ways and muted music and loud thumps are once again part of our daily (and nightly) lives. I really should be able to let it go, how much I really dislike her. But all I can do is hope that her lease is up at the end of the month. Every month.

Thanksgiving pictures are coming.

Oh, and Elias rolled over from his belly to his back yesterday. Now "tummy time" lasts about 10 seconds. He enjoys his new skill.

My boys

Playing in the leaves with Grandma....
Belly laughing....

Getting baths....

Catchin' zzzzzz's....


Gleeful, having a good time....

Exploring intellect with books (or being bored and sleeping)....

Or just plain being goofheads....


Chowing....
And simply adoring Mama.

Laughing Elias

Halloween, a bit late

Because I was busy trying to dress 2 kids, someone else manned a camera and just recently sent me the pictures he took of our halloween excursions, thus the late-coming.

Me and the boys were invited to our friend Kellie and Jeff's house to trick-or-treat with them and another family with a toddler. So we hauled up there, only about 2 blocks away. We had a lot of fun even though we went out around 5:30pm and threw off several of the neighbors when we knocked at their door. "Isn't it a little early?" they asked. We were surprised. I thought city kids went out before dark these days. (What do I know? I haven't done this in years and years.) But we had wee ones, so we needed to get out and back in with our loot before the children completely lost it from hunger and exhaustion.

It's funny, this whole Halloween thing. I was never a huge anticipator of the holiday, but my Mom really loved it when we were growing up. I think it was her chance to use my brothers and I as a pallette for her wacky and amazing creativity (which she somehow manages to find an excuse to ignore every other day of the year. Thank goodness for Halloween.). I never chose what I wanted to be for the night, and I never minded giving up that choice. Mom would take a quick trip to the Thrift Store, usually on Halloween day, and come home with our costumes, showing us what they were when we got home from school, and then she proceeded to work her magic to make us completely unrecognizable. We never, ever wore masks. Sometimes we wore boxes on our heads, sometimes fabric of some sort, and almost always some elaborate make-up job. Wigs, paint, clothing too big for us, the sky was the limit and my mom always took us there and beyond. It's a shame we didn't enter contests. We surely would've won.

I did not work my own magic with my sons this year. I was actually shocked that Kindred let me put a few stripes on his face with the acrylic paint I found on the shelf. (Hey, it washes off...) Maybe "Grammy" can make a annual trip to Philly every October 31 to make magic with my kids, when they get to the point where patience is an option.

So, to the pictures. Here's me, prepping Elias for his suit (borrowed from Kellie).

Elias was a dalmation (even though he looks an awful lot like a cow in this picture) and Kindred was a zebra.

Here's the whole posse, Mickey Mouse (Griffen), Cookie Monster (Jack) and my boys. Er, um, my little animals. Good times!

Shameless Advertising

I am helping to organize this online auction fundraiser for this wonderful theatre company, Yes! And... Collaborative Arts iMagination Programming, of which Michael is a co-founder. There are some really fantastic items that have been donated for the auction. Because it is online, people can bid on anything from anywhere and it can be shipped out.

The auction runs from November 13 through December 7th. You can get to the auction pages by going to www.yesandcamp.org/auction

If you were thinking about getting me a present this year, here's the place to find it. (hint hint) But more importantly, it is also helpful that you are supporting an amazing organization that changes kids' lives for the better.

On Kindred, an addendum

I forgot to mention 2 of my favorite things about Kindred.

The first is my favorite word that he says: "puh-ta-tow" He places no accent on any of the syllables. It just rolls off his tongue and he puckers his lips all cute at the end for a long time. He draws it out: oooooh. So hilarious. Especially after he says "sfeet". "Sfeeet puhtatow." Sweet potato.

The second is how he waits for a long time before he answers someone. It can sometimes take 10 seconds to answer a simple yes or no question. It's like he is taking in the meaning....1...2...3...4...5, then he is working it through and pondering his answer....6...7...8...9...10. Then he answers. Some people aren't patient enough to wait for him, or they think he doesn't understand so they repeat the question over and over. Sometimes people simply answer for him before even counting to 3. Often even I have to remind myself to stop and count to 10 before I ask a second time. But I love the answer after the wait. It feels very solid. Very thought out. Very wise.

And I am envious. It is how I wish I could be. Can you imagine waiting for 10 seconds to answer every question? I think about all the things that would go unsaid because of our general lack of patience, but those are things that probably didn't need to be said in the first place. Not to mention the ways one could be misunderstood by others moving on before there's been closure. But Kindred doesn't mind. He lets people believe what they want to and moves on with his life. He doesn't care if someone thinks he doesn't know the answer. He knows he knows it. He doesn't get mad at them for making assumptions. Maybe he pities them for not being able to just take a minute with him, for moving too fast. Maybe not. But no matter what, I often wish I could have the self-discipline to not run my mouth all the time, to not have an answer for everything even if it's thoughtless, to not talk more than I listen.

I love him for the simple lessons he teaches me just by being.

Punkin' Carvin'

I know, I'm a little behind on this one.

Anyway, so before Halloween we decided to carve our pumpkins. (Kindred calls them "puh-ka-kis".) Here is what they came into the house looking like:

Michael decided to claim the job of "de-yucking" the pumpkins, and was excited about the prospect of landing some of...

...these-- by the end of the evening.

I then took the job of carver.

Kindred told me he wanted his pumpkin to have squinty eyes, a small nose and frowny face.

Elias liked the idea too.

Kindred examined my work and gave me positive feedback.

And here's what they looked like as they exited the house and claimed their post outside on our lawn.

On Kindred, 21 months

Kindred, it seems, is old. He just looks so tall to me. I realize almost once daily that he walks, while just 7 months ago he did not posses that skill. 7 months. That is simultaneously a brief moment ago and an eternity.

So this is my update on Kindred. It is signifcantly longer than Elias's. Get comfy. (Don't worry, there's pictures.)

Kindred can talk. Like really talk. Put words together in a way that makes sense: "Mama, no tousch Baby Ayiyas chooch." "Mama, Papap ohm (home)." When something is happening that he wants to be a part of (like me loading and running the washer): "Up! See! Up see!" When he nears the stove, the radiator, or a candle: "No touch. Aught (hot)." He knows the difference between "Door open" and "Door sut." He describes everything he sees. We went for a walk last week and saw a tree-trimming crew out, and he now thinks that everytime we walk we might see a "Beeeeeeeg tree truck." I am constantly amazed at what he observes and can vocalize.

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"Stuck"

Kindred likes to climb on the bench and mess with stuff on the table. The funny part about this is he hasn't figured out how to get down from the bench. He gets stuck. I thought maybe letting him go up there a couple of times and clearing everything he could mess with off the table (like the candles, the salt and pepper shakers, the plants and flowers, etc.) would cure him of this habit. But it has not. He persists. And he has now started pulling things down from the bookshelf. Frustrating. But sometimes this predicament comes in handy-- like when I'm trying to cook. It's my makeshift playpen. "Oh honey, are you stuck? Yes, I'll get you down. Just a minute..." "Just a minute, Kindred..." "I'll be right there..." ("Don't complain, kid. You knew you couldn't get down when you climbed you little butt up there.)
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Kindred can count to ten. Is this normal? But he starts: won, too, free, fo, fieve, sits, sremarn, ate!, nien, ten--yay! (clapping). I thought that he just knew the words, but I soon discovered he's working on the concept of quantity and has a pretty good grasp of it. He'll count things when he sees more than one: won too shoes, won too free chooches. He even pluralizes more than 1 item, as long as it just needs an "s". I asked him how many ears he had and he said "Won too ears." But when I asked him how many feet lamby had, he said, "Won too free fo foot." He's genius.

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"Ayiyas Beh"

The Sneaky Pete! We were playing on the bed, me and the 2 boys, and Elias started crying. I turned to him and tried to calm him, and when I turned around, someone had usurped his bed! Kindred just climbed from one bed to the other. "Mama, Baby Ayiyas beh. Seep."
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Today, Kindred and his dad were ready to walk out the door to go to the grocery store. (Yay guys!) Kindred was all bundled in coat and hat and suddenly he ran toward me, arms open, looking for a hug. I happily obliged. He went to walk away again, and all of a sudden was running back when Michael asked him if he was ready to go. I thought this was a protest against leaving and was trying to figure out how to get him to go with his father. I discovered I was wrong in my understanding of the situation when he returned to me with puckered lips. He had forgotten to kiss me.

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Smile!

When we ask Kindred to smile for a photo, this is what we get. A kid of funny grimace. I'm sure he thinks he looks absolutely charming.
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Kindred is, for the most part, really good when it comes to sleeping. He will sleep long hours, usually from around 8pm to 8am. When he wakes up in the morning or after his nap, he is generally fine with staying in his crib and talking and singing and chilling until we come in and get him, which sometimes is up to an hour after we first hear him. Lately, though, if we aren't in there within a reasonable time, he starts getting a little louder. But the best part is when we start to hear small thumps or bumps. He will empty his bed of either his stuffed animals or his chooches, throwing them as far as he can make them go. He can toss his chooches pretty far and they will bounce off of his door with quite a smack! He isn't upset, just bored. When we walk in, he just standing or lying there, grinning.

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"Mass"

Kindred likes to feed himself, and he isn't bad at it, as long as he likes what he is eating. When he is done with something, if we don't get there in time, he likes to throw it on the floor. He gets such a kick out of this. It drives us mad. And if we don't get his drink away from him, he will take his straw out of his cup and turn the cup right upside down and start boucing it on his tray. Then he will point out the "milk mass" sitting in front of him, all ready to splash in.
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"Too big brother"

Grandma Carol loves to get the boys things with their names on them, which is nice because you won't find "Kindred" on any of those keychains. This sweatshirt was given to him to celebrate his new title. It says KINDRED--> I'm the new big brother. The sweatshirt is HUGE on him, but he liked wearing it. (This, by the way, was the best picture of the sweatshirt writing. Funny that his head is obscured. He's a good throw.)
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"Where's Kindred?"

A rather new occurance is the "No seep!" phenomenon. (Phenomena, phenomenon.) We will get him ready for bed, PJ's on, and send him out to say "Night night" to Elias and the other parent. He will go to the livingroom and proceed to crawl behind the couch. He's usually pretty subtle about it and before we know what is happening, he's *poof*, gone! This is a picture of him getting caught. Busted! Look how sheepish he looks.
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"Choices"

I read that toddlers Kindred's age have clothes that they like and others they don't, and they are not shy about what outfit they do or do not want to wear. I have never had this happen with Kindred. He wears what I put on him. But he slowly learning how to make choices. In the past when we would give him 2 choices ("Do you want an egg or oatmeal?") he would always choose whatever was named last. But he is starting to learn how to communicate what he wants, which means he is saying "No!" more often, but we can grasp what he really prefers. So when I was carving his pumpkin (pictures of that event coming soon), I asked him what he wanted the features to look like. Big or squinty eyes? Little or big nose? Sad or smiley face? So this is the result of the choices he made and him trying to imitate his pumpkin's face.
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"Sacrifice"

Kindred never got too attached to a blanket or a toy. It has only been over the past couple of months that he has started wanting to carry his lamby around to places when he goes out, or even around the apartment. I see him treat lamby with kindness and love and I believe he is trying to imitate how we treat Elias sometimes. It's really cute to watch. But the other day, I was working on dinner and Elias was very unhappy, crying and crying in his swing. Kindred was in the kitchen with me. Kindred disappeared and Elias stopped crying almost simultaneously. I was alarmed and spun around to see what was going on. Kindred had handed Lamby to Elias and Elias was happily chewing on Lamby's nose. Kindred had already moved on to another toy. It was a wonderful big brother moment.
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"Hine, Dada"

Anytime someone calls on the phone and I ask Kinded who it might be, he always says Dada first and Papap second. When he wants to talk, he'll say "Hine, Dada." Hine is "hi", and I'm not sure why.
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"Fy-sure tah-her-ruck" What is "fy-sure tah-her-ruck"? Fire truck, of course! He loves to talk about firetrucks and choo-choo's. But he also likes to point out trees and butterflies, and when he hears a crow, he's sure to announce, "Caw caw!" He's not all vehicle-minded all the time.

In a nutshell, Kindred is great and I love this journey with him.

Alone?

I haven't been alone, really alone, in my house for almost a year. This is a fact, although it seems strange, eh? And I'm not talking about my neighbors. I'm talking about the occupants of my apartment. I used to muse about how when I was pregnant I was never really alone, even if Michael and Kindred were out. So that's a solid 9.5 months of not-alone-ness, ever. Since Elias was born more than 10 weeks ago, I have not really had him much separated from me. It's that whole nursing every 2.5 hours thing. He sorta needs to hang out with me a lot. It's not that I don't want to leave him with anyone. The opportunity hasn't really come up.

Until today.

Michael and Uncle David took both boys out for a walk for nearly 2 hours this morning so I could get some work done on an auction that I am coordinating (which I'm sure I will talk more about at a later time.) I sat at the computer for longer than I have in ages, emailing, and in between making necessary phone calls and connections. No screaming and wailing in the background. When I was finished with all I could do, I looked up, and it hit me suddenly out of the blue:

I am alone.

There is no one else here in the apartment.

ohmygosh, i can smell the alone-ness!

What should I do with myself? Dishes? Prep dinner? Laundry? Ooooh, how about a nap?

I flopped down on the bed, trying to ignore the splitting headache I had acquired from being on the computer for too long, and tried to gulp down the realization of... no one. Ahhh. Silence. Perhaps peace? No, not quite yet, but close.

Michael and the boys walked in the door not 5 minutes later. But at least I had a moment to myself.

A Halloween Preview, and stats

I don't have all my Halloween pictures yet, but I wanted to show you a preview of the night. Toddlers in costumes. Fun for all! (Except the toddlers.)

Anyway, went to the doctor with Elias for his 2 month appointment. Are you ready for the stats? He's exactly 10 weeks old. He is exactly 14 lbs, 24 inches, and his head is 39cm. He is a boy of extremes. He smiled and talked and the waiting room and through his whole appointment with the doctor. When the doctor checked his legs by bending his knees and rotating his legs at the hips, Elias made a really funny sound. I thought he was about to explode in tears, but a few seconds later, we realized he was working up to a full-scale belly laugh! He had never done that before, and I was so thrilled the doctor just kept doing it and the 3 of us just kept cracking up. It was a lot of fun. Then the shots came. 4 of them. No more belly laughs.